Sticks and Stones - 5 Ways to Embody Your Humanness

Martin Lawrence - Sticks and Stones - 5 Ways to Embody Your Humanness

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As children we could not operate how the adults in our lives treated us. But as adults we have operate over how we treat ourselves and others. Curative comes full circle when we feel, express and receive.

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Martin Lawrence

I remember as a child I loved to skip rope. Exterior among the summer breezes and rustling leaves I felt free from harm, protected by nature and its big beauty. One of the verses I would sing as I hopped and jumped was the sing song phrase, "stick and stones will break your bones, but names will never harm you." I wanted to believe that was true. That nothing could hurt me. Yet, daily I fought against the harsh childhood that challenged me throughout my life. Growing up in an atmosphere where sticks, stones and names were thrown at me, paved a path to find the answers to heal that pain. A measurement to find compassion for the lost child that lives in all of us.

Intimacy is learned from childhood. As children, the way we are touched, looked at and spoken to affects how we personally treat ourselves as we mature. Corporal and sexual abuse strikes blaringly hard blows to our self-esteem, our self-image and worth. It fragments the core of our being. However, emotional and verbal abuse is often ignored and minimized and is equally damaging to our hearts and souls. The subtle ways a child is discouraged, judged, rejected, neglected and twisted into believing that who they are is "wrong" and "less than" are subtle abuses. The stress and pressures to be perfect, get "good" grades, dress properly, fit in to cultural norms, speak when spoken to, rise to the top of the ladder, be rich, thin, and famed are carefully acceptable. We are judged for what we eat, how we sit, how we think and feel, or even if our teeth are totally white. In truth, these things punch us straight in the gut and destroy our innocence and joy.

Verbal and emotional abuse can cause us to isolate, alienate and view the world as dangerous in the same way Corporal and sexual abuse does. Many clients will tell me that because they weren't beat, or harshly treated, that they cannot complain or be wounded. But soon they spin that they were told they were too fat, or not smart, or screamed at for being too loud, criticized for being messy, called stupid, given the silent treatment, frowned upon for crying too much, and they perceive that they are afraid to voice their opinions in fear of being rejected. This treatment can finally lead to self-worth issues that influence a man in future relationships, occupation choices and purpose in life. It can generate a void inside of them and keep them yearning for acceptance and approval and never feeling whole.

A new study by Florida State University researchers has found that habitancy who were verbally abused as children grow up to be self-critical adults prone to depression and anxiety. habitancy who were verbally abused had 1.6 times as many symptoms of depression and anxiety as those who had not been verbally abused and were twice as likely to have suffered a mood or anxiety disorder over their lifetime, according to psychology Professor Natalie Sachs-Ericsson, the study's lead author. according to Sachs-Ericsson, "We must try to educate parents about the long-term effects of verbal abuse on their children," The old saying about sticks and stones was wrong. Names will forever hurt you. Link to the study at the lowest of this article.

Most of us have been brought up to ignore people's attacks, sarcastic statements and underlying emotional control. As children we are told to be tough, let it roll off our backs, that people's words don't mean anything, to not take it personally, or like my mom would say, "they're just jealous of you." These rationales are supposed to soothe a child's soul or even an adult's soul? One of the most primary effects of verbal and emotional abuse is our sensitive nature is beaten down and twisted into paranoia and self-recrimination. We build Teflon hearts so nothing penetrates us. Our emotional bodies take the whips and tears and we bury our feelings. Along with this misguided teaching about human emotions comes the result of our inability to receive our own emotional needs. We believe feelings and needs are weak and inappropriate. The outcome of withholding our expression is that we manipulate to get attention, warmth and caring. We are afraid to tell the truth so we blame others for not caring about us, mental others should be mind readers and know what we need and want. We stunt intimate connections because we place a small significance on hurt, sadness, loneliness. We don't reach out and expect others to save us. We withdraw behind our make-up, suits, laughter and pretend nothing bothers us. Or we isolate, shut-down or go numb so others won't know that we are hurting. This is only attracts added pain and repetitive patterning, a self sabotage, to reject others before they reject you, and continuing the trust that what happened to you in your childhood will continue in your present and future.

Our heart and soul is feminine. It wants to connect, trust, intuit, create, express and be in love with ourselves and the world. The long continuing result of any kind of abuse traumatizes us throughout life. If we fail to release these wounds we can wind up with addictions, depression, acute anxiety, eating disorders, continuing illness, sleep disorders and many other symptoms that are medicated in our society. Jealousy, guilt and lack of faith are punishment to our self worth. These feelings stop us from fully receiving our birth rights to be alive. However, to express our sadness, grief, joy, hurt, and excitement are natural feelings to be recognized, shared and validated. Our feelings when expressed can give the chance to work through what is real or not real, what is happening or what is not happening. Communication is the key to everything in life. Intimacy is the human translation of spiritual enlightenment. Feeling, expressing, receiving, time, touch and attention heals and brings to light our most intricate layers of being alive.

5 Ways to Embody Your Humanness

As an imperfect society, how do we embody the antique teachings of love? I cannot respond that ask for others. As a counselor, instructor and artist, I can only guide others as I am guided to find the answer. For most of us daily life is strewn with rocks, which makes us afraid to speculation into the unknown and leave the familiar. We defend our position to stay the same out of fear. We delude ourselves into believing everything is fine and deny ourselves the journey into the miraculous. Rabbi Lawrence Kushner stated, in his book "Honey from the Rock," that "there is a kind of awareness that defies logic and is seduced by the strangeness of paradox." Our biblical stories show us that, from nowhere, water glistened from a rock; loaves of manna appeared from thin air and an commonplace being talked to angels. It takes a vigilante urge to surrender to a sacred code of authenticity and grow past our limitations. Several human qualities embrace the light and help build our character. We can learn the secrets to abundance, wellness and Curative by practicing these five traits: commitment, impeccability, ordinariness, reduce and non-judgment.

Commitment creates the bond that allows for intimacy to flourish. It is the boundary that keeps us grounded in our values. If we cheat ourselves of our commitments-even for a second-we will always find life difficult and blame others for our shortcomings. How often have you promised to eat better, walk every day, breathe, cease work, spend more time with loved ones, but then come up with one excuse after another? Every promise broken-even the tiniest one-plays havoc on our physical, mental, emotional and spiritual body and causes us to feel depressed and anxious. Commitment keeps us whole so we can give and receive.

Impeccability builds trust and aliveness. When we engage in a task, whether it is scrambling an egg, studying for an exam, painting a photo or outlining a budget, and we partake in that performance with every cell of our body, then we are being impeccable. Our impeccable nature is needed to assistance our family, our community and ourselves. result through and being fully engaged develops dependability and responsibility.

Ordinariness makes a man humble and open to possibility. If we think we know it all, are good than others, compete, collate and judge then we never passage our wisdom and caring for others. The most heroic humans - Gandhi, Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. And mom Teresa - carried out magnificent feats in their ordinariness. They did not strive for perfection, grandiosity or special treatment; they only wanted each human to be treated with dignity and compassion.

Sacrifice comes at a crossroad: a transition into a deeper comprehension of life. In order for turn to happen, one must reduce something. Giving up smoking, drinking, obsessive spending or sugar are sacrifices when you use them to make yourself feel good. Eliminating addictive habits from your lifestyle is difficult. The rationale "eat, drink and be merry" harms our intimacy with others. John Campbell states, in order to live the life we want, we must give up the life we are living." What are you willing to reduce to have your new life? Eat, drink and be merry" seems logical when we do not know what tomorrow might bring. However, self-exploration of our deeper purpose is squelched when we collapse into our addictions.

Last but not least is Non-Judgment. If I was to choose the most spiritual of the attributes and the most appealing one it would be non-judgment. We cannot get to first base so long as we judge others and ourselves. To live in the polarity of right and wrong, good and bad, good and worse, pass and fail we will always be in judgment. Rigid mental stops growth. Leo Tolstoy, the great Russian novelist said, "True life is lived when tiny changes occur." When you spin a prayer, light a candle and talk to the heavens, are you being truthful? Are you walking your talk? If not, breathe deeply and take one tiny step toward change.

Link to Fsu Study: http://www.fsu.edu/news/2006/05/22/invisible.scars/

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